Pagod at Nakalilitong Post

Ika-10 araw ko na ito ng dire-diretsong pagtrarabaho sapagkat nagkataong may camping noong nakaraang weekend.  Ang dami ko pang mga bagay na hindi tapos. 3 deadline na ang hindi ko na-meet–isa sa MA, dalawa sa trabaho. At madalas kapag napapgod ka, may mga sandaling nakalilito  at nakalulungkot.

Nakalilito

Minsan sa tuwing ako’y may mga mungkahing tingin ko’y makabuluhan ngunit hindi nabibigyang pansin o natutupad, nalilito ako kung naaasar ba ako dahil hindi nasunod gusto ko o nalulungkot ako na ako lang ang nakakakita ng mga bagay na batid ko ay ang pinakaangkop sa sitwasyon.

Minsan nalilito rin ako kung bakit may mga pagkakataon na may mga bagay akong napapansin na mali ngunit tila wala ng ibang nakakapansin pa nito.

At sa pagpuna ko ng mga kamaliang ito, minsan nalilito ako kung ma-kontra lamang ako at negatibo o sadyang may pakialam sa mga kaganapan at positibo.

Minsan naman nalilito ako sa mga panahong nais kong manindigan sa tingin kong tama ngunit tila ako lang naman ang nakababatid nito kaya naman nagmumuka lamang akong masungit, mayabang at subersibo.

Nakalulungkot

Sa aking pagwika ng mga saloobin at mungkahi, nakalulungkot na minsan hindi  ito pinakikinggan at hinuhusgahan na agad na tila wala itong ibang kabuluhan kung hindi ang kumontra.

Minsan naman nakalulungkot na pinagtatawanan lang ang aking mga mungkahi na tila ba hindi ko ito pinagisipan at sadyang madaldal lamang ako.

Minsan rin nakalulungkot na hindi marunong makinig ang mga tao.

Minsan nakalulungkot rin na hindi nila napapansin ang aking pakikinig.

Minsan, sa mga binibitiwang salita ng mga tao, hindi ko na alam kung mayabang lang ako, emosyonal at hindi nag-iisip o tunay na ako ay may batid na tama.

At ang pinakamalungkot, minsan walang naglalakas loob manindigan at hamunin ang mga kamaliang nakagisnan

at madalas wala nang tutulong at magtuturo sa iyo sa  kung ano ang totoo.

4 thoughts on “Pagod at Nakalilitong Post

  1. Whilst I have no idea how the system you’re in works, perhaps, it’s just a matter of adapting to it but not necessarily adopting the culture. There can be instances wherein a person views things differently from his/her peers and such case is a good thing. Why? It can be treated as a form of social equilibrium. I remember an idea from a talk delivered by a UP prof in our college but I can’t really remember her exact statements. From what I can recall – it’s good to think differently. Even Apple had used it (Think Different) as one of their advertising slogans. However, the problem for the matter is that there can be situations wherein it’s so hard to voice out concerns. And I guess, that’s the situation you’re experiencing. I’ve been experiencing the same thing as well but perhaps what you can do about it is to put it in writing instead.🙂 I do have many “weird” ideas as well but I believe that it’s possible that sometime, somewhere, these would be put into good use.

    Also, don’t get lost in your own confusion. Putting such ideas into writing (or blogging) will definitely benefit you (and others) more than trying to raise out your ideas to an audience who doesn’t want to hear your voice. Of course, you have to be cautious too when blogging about things especially controversial ones. And with blogging, you can also go back to rethink things (or posts) and possibly edit what you have written before.

    In addition, correct timing is also important. There can be instances in which a person has a big set of ideals but is delimited or constrained because of the people controlling the person. The majority usually wins but that doesn’t mean that their decision is always correct/logical/reasonable. Right? In raising out concerns, the tone of voice is always a crucial factor on how people hear it, which means that it can possibly lead to misinterpretations and misunderstandings.

    Do you still remember Gandhi’s quote? “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

    Just my 2 sentimos.😀

    • Can i just say bakit sobrang sensible ang mga comments mo🙂 Anyhow salamat for these thoughts. Hirap lang ng struggle to know if one is right or one is being unreasonable.

      Anyhow thanks!😀

  2. Madalas hindi puwede sa ngayon, pero magkakaroon at magkakaroon ng susunod na pagkakataon. Cheer up, sir! Think of the smiles of your students.

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